the boy with the thorn in his side

“What am I even talking to you for?” Jim said to my back. “Guys, why are we acting like he’s in charge?”
Jennifer put up her hands, said, “Let’s not make this a dick-measuring contest, guys.”
There was silence for a moment, then John said, “That’s good, because it wouldn’t be no contest at all.

Silence again.

“That is, I’m referring to my cock being bigger than either of yours.”
Big Jim hesitated, then said, “Please. My cock’s cock is bigger than your cock.”
John retorted, “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”

— John Dies At The End, by David Wong

XD

padayon:

asiana:

reinventthesea:

ventisette:

I am average or pretty good at a lot of things. But I am not amazing at anything.

Exactlyyy.

The only advice I ever listened to.

Because, let’s be honest, Kris is a better musician than Adam. (Musician over the vocalist, please.)

padayon:

pinstripe:

offbeatt:

People who’s childhood was in the 90’s had the best childhood. Handsdown.

:D

completely had no idea how this song got in my library, and how long it’s been in there, but I love it. :]