“What am I even talking to you for?” Jim said to my back. “Guys, why are we acting like he’s in charge?”
Jennifer put up her hands, said, “Let’s not make this a dick-measuring contest, guys.”
There was silence for a moment, then John said, “That’s good, because it wouldn’t be no contest at all.
“That is, I’m referring to my cock being bigger than either of yours.”
Big Jim hesitated, then said, “Please. My cock’s cock is bigger than your cock.”
John retorted, “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”
— John Dies At The End, by David Wong